A Line He Would Cross
by lookslikeajobforthewinchesters
Summary: Neal wasn't a killer. It was the line he never crossed. It was a line he would cross for Peter. (Character death)


It happened fast.

It happened before he could react, before he could jump, before he could scream. It happened in the flash of a gun being fired, in the sound of a bullet knocking air from a chest, in the sight of a man shouting in surprise. I happened in the space of time it took for Neal Caffrey to register a gunshot – in the space of time it took for him to realize it hadn't been aimed at him this time.

The horror set in before he turned around. It set in when he heard knees hitting concrete, when breaths gurgled with wetness. It set in when he saw satisfaction on the face of a killer, when he saw a man considering a job well done.

It stopped his heart for a beat when he turned around.

The terror set in when he searched for Peter's eyes. It set in when he couldn't find them at their regular height, when Peter seemed to have vanished. It set in when his eyes dropped and saw Peter kneeling on the ground, when Peter was staring up at him with fear in his eyes. It set in when he saw Peter holding onto his chest, when he saw the blood leaking from under Peter's fingers. It set in when Peter begged him to tell Elizabeth he loved her.

The screaming started when Peter reached out for him. It continued when Peter fell face first onto the concrete. It didn't stop when he rolled Peter over and Peter didn't breathe. It didn't stop when Neal breathed for Peter. It didn't stop when Neal crushed his palm into the wound on Peter's chest. It didn't stop when Peter's ribs cracked under his compressions. It didn't stop when EMTs covered Peter with a white sheet. It didn't stop when Diana tried to wash the blood off his hands.

It stopped when Elizabeth appeared before him, when she stopped to look at him sob. It stopped when she sat down with him beside Peter's white sheet and they held each other silently. It stopped when she sobbed for everything she deserved to have and had lost. It stopped when she needed him more than he needed her.

The shock set in when Elizabeth said she needed him to do something. It set in when she told him that jail was not penance enough for this, when he agreed and asked what she needed. It set in when she looked at him with red eyes and pale cheeks and bloody hands and told him that she couldn't do it. It set in when she told him he could.

The determination set in when he saw her sobbing at Peter's funeral, when he could barely see her for his own tears but could hear her sobs from across the world. It set in when he told Mozzie he needed a weapon, he needed something for a job. It set in when Mozzie didn't ask why, but handed over a gun.

Neal wasn't a gun man.

It was a line he would cross for Peter.

The rage set in when he had the man in front of him. The rage set in when the man begged for his life. It set in when he pleaded because he had a family. Peter had a family, too.

The cold set in when he carefully put a bullet through the man's brain.

Neal wasn't a killer. It was the line he never crossed. It was a line he would cross for Peter.

The cold stayed when the police put him in cuffs he didn't bother to pick. It stayed when he sat in the cold, damp cell downtown and contemplated a life of punishment for avenging his partner. It stayed when Jones visited and told him they would try to get him out. It stayed when he told Jones he did it on purpose and he didn't want to be out. It stayed when the guards loaded him in the shuttle to court and tightened his cuffs more than necessary.

Neal wouldn't run. He never ran from the law, not when it was after him for a crime he wanted the world to know about. He was done running. Peter was done chasing.

The cold vanished when the jury found him guilty, when they condemned him for avenging a life cut too short. It vanished when they told him he'd die in prison, when they told him he would never see New York again. It vanished when he saw Elizabeth crying in the back row.

The sadness set in when they led him by her and she didn't look at him, when she covered her face and sobbed. It lingered when he stood behind the bars of his last home, the place he would lay when he drew his last breath. It expanded when Elizabeth visited two weeks later, when she arrived in black and her eyes were still red. It erupted when she told him thank you, thank you for sacrificing everything.

It imploded into despair when he told her. It imploded when he confessed he would do anything to make her pain stop.

For Peter.


End file.
